In just the past few months there have been a barrage of startling headlines about the damaging effects of social media on teens. Whether it’s distraught parents suing the companies that host the various social platforms, or concerned doctors issuing warnings, now is not an easy time to be a parent to a teen with a phone seemingly glued to their hand. Look around and you will see even young children who are routinely provided with mobile devices and ample screen time, both of which can have devastating repercussions as they are still developing emotionally and what they view online can have long term, negative effects. Multiple studies and reports have shown that teens who spend too much time online can quickly start to suffer from increased loneliness, decreased critical thinking skills, poor views about their own bodies and various forms of addiction.
Fortunately, there is a growing resistance all over the country by vocal parents, school administrators and others who are seeking help to protect teens and even limit the amount of time and even the age with which they can have access to social media. Navigating all of this can be challenging for any parent, even those who have the best intention at heart.
What Can Parents Do?
Balance Screen and Phone Time
It’s often frustrating to tell your child that you are putting boundaries in place regarding phone and screen time. Being a teen usually means wanting privacy, but it’s up to you to determine what the best balance is. Your child will tell you that their friends are allowed much more freedom, but deep down they may be relieved that you are putting guidelines in place. You can start with simple steps like not allowing phones at the dinner table or in bed at night and then expanding the rules from there if needed. Reading skills can be one of the first things that suffers from increased use of social media, so make sure your teen devotes equal time to their school work and other fun activities.
Talk to Other Parents
One of the first places that trouble can begin is when things go bad in a group chat. Your child may be being bullied and you may not even know it. By staying in regular touch with other parents, you can monitor what is going on at school, within a friend group, or even with your own child that they have not told you about. Parents no longer have the luxury or comfort of knowing everything that is going on with their child, since they may be living out an entirely different life online.
Stay Informed With What’s Going On In School
It’s critical that parents know the latest school policies when it comes to phone use and social media.
On Long Island, many schools are following a state initiative and have started to enact a “no phone” at school policy which has been shown to decrease a teen’s reliance on their phones and even resulted in more engagement among their students. These “bell-to-bell” limits mean that teens do not have any access to their phones during the day. As a parent, you are ultimately responsible for your child’s behavior, so it’s important that you communicate with your child often and help them to understand and respect the rules that have been put in place for a good reason.
Ignoring It Won’t Make the Trouble Go Away
Whether they admit it or not, children of all ages need to feel they are loved and understand that their parents or caretakers are putting their best interests first. Children and young teens may think they understand what they hear and see online, but the truth is most of the time they don’t. The best thing you can do is to keep the lines of communication open and encourage your children to talk about their worries, no matter how trivial they may seem.
Please reach out to me if you feel like you are no longer confident about dealing with your teen when it comes to their social media habits or if you are concerned that your child’s well being is at stake. Through psychotherapy I work with both children and their families to provide a supportive and confidential environment to help every family member to effectively work through day-to-day problems and deal with life’s discontents.
Contact my office today so that we can get a plan in place to help you and your child reduce those social media stresses.
